OK first of all I was never quite sure exactly what a bungee was or why anyone in their right mind would want to jump off of one but hey to each their own I guess. I mean I really don't know what possesses people to try some of the ridiculously stupid shit that they try but hey you know me right? I don't like to judge. so without further Higgly piggly- (Hmmm higgly Piggly? really Scratch? OK.. so I may have some editing to do later.) I mean really-If people want to jump off a bridge with a rubber band around their ankles, hey whatever puts the juices your pickle ace. I mean Really.. you know? suicide isn't a way out.. uh huh- ok. so anyways here are my safety tips.
Tip #1 - Make sure that you have a STRONG RUBBER BAND TIED TO YOUR ANKLE. if that puppy breaks your screwed.. I don't know if anyone has actually alerted the press yet, but human beings don't bounce well from high altitudes. (Just Sayin)
Tip #2 - Make sure you have your life insurance policy up to date and paid in full.
Tip #3 - Make sure you have someone standing by with the paramedics on speed dial.. you know, just in case you survive. I mean- you may actually hit a soft spot in the ground somewhere.. highly unlikely.. even more so improbable but you never know.
Tip #4 - this is the REALLY IMPORTANT ONE here folks so pay attention.. Make sure that your rubber band is shorter than the distance between whatever it is that your jumping from and the ground.. if your rubber band is too long the next sound you will hear will be a thud, right before your brain travels through your body and comes out through your ass… so remember kids think before you jump and be careful. oh and HAPPY JUMPING.