Monday, March 28, 2011

This weeks public service Tips: Bungee Jumping 4 Dummies

OK first of all I was never quite sure exactly what a bungee was or why anyone in their right mind would want to jump off of one but hey to each their own I guess. I mean I really don't know what possesses people to try some of the ridiculously stupid shit that they try but hey you know me right? I don't like to judge. so without further Higgly piggly- (Hmmm higgly Piggly? really Scratch? OK.. so I may have some editing to do later.) I mean really-If people want to jump off a bridge with a rubber band around their ankles, hey whatever puts the juices your pickle ace. I mean Really.. you know? suicide isn't a way out.. uh huh- ok. so anyways here are my safety tips.

Tip #1 - Make sure that you have a STRONG RUBBER BAND TIED TO YOUR ANKLE. if that puppy breaks your screwed.. I don't know if anyone has actually alerted the press yet, but human beings don't bounce well from high altitudes. (Just Sayin)

Tip #2 - Make sure you have your life insurance policy up to date and paid in full.

Tip #3 - Make sure you have someone standing by with the paramedics on speed dial.. you know, just in case you survive. I mean- you may actually hit a soft spot in the ground somewhere.. highly unlikely.. even more so improbable but you never know.

Tip #4 - this is the REALLY IMPORTANT ONE here folks so pay attention.. Make sure that your rubber band is shorter than the distance between whatever it is that your jumping from and the ground.. if your rubber band is too long the next sound you will hear will be a thud, right before your brain travels through your body and comes out through your ass… so remember kids think before you jump and be careful. oh and HAPPY JUMPING.


  1. I work in a bucket with a harness on everyday, I never once thought of leaving my perfectly safe bucket for the not so safe air. It's like skydiving, unless the plane is falling towards the Earth, I'm good. I see no need to jump out.

  2. A fine pastime for adrenalin junkies. I, on the other hand, am askeered of heights. I don't care how many times I'm told it isn't the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end, I keep remembering that sudden stop.

  3. I did bungee jumping back about 20 or 25 years ago from a crane. First one from a lower height was a little unnerving. As you stand on the platform, every bone in your body is screaming "Don't do it, don't do it". Hard to jump off. However, once you hit bottom and start bouncing, it was actually pretty cool.

    Unfortunately, I found out your experience is directly related to the cords. On the second higher jump, they used heavier cords, which felt like they were pulling me off the platform, and which had much less spring. So when I hit bottom I was jerked up high pretty roughly, like a rag doll, and repeated that a few times before stopping bounce. Not so much fun. After that I wasn't too keen on trying it again.

  4. Scratch:

    My wife and I plan to do a bungee jump on our 100th birthday. Either that, or a free fall parachute jump from a plane. :)

  5. I have no desire to do that EVER! nor would I parachute. I wouldn't want to hurt my normally lazy back muscles or knock something else loose!

  6. Red:

    I'm with you Bud.. jumping off a bridge or out of a perfectly good airplane defies all logic.

  7. Sherry:

    Yeah I've heard that bit about the sudden stop too. No Thanks I'll just take their word for it.

  8. Skinny:

    You are a braver man than I.. glad to see you survived.

  9. Whit:

    Well, good luck with that.

  10. Miss B:

    Yeah seems a little risky to me too.