Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Paranoid? Who? ME?

Some people think I’m paranoid. I tend to over examine things at the grocery store, I always run my tap water through a filter before I drink it. Not because I fear contamination but because the tap water here is nasty crap. During the summer I always put on the strongest sunblock I can find before I go on a bike ride to protect me from radiation poisoning. Some people might think I am overly cautious sometimes- but Paranoid? Nuh uh. I mean just because somebody follows me around every time I leave the house, and I hear voices coming from the traffic signals while I’m waiting for the light to change at an intersection, that doesn’t necessarily make me paranoid. Just because I was caught last week in the isle at Krogers reading the labels of everything I put in my cart, and they had to send someone to tell me that this wasn’t the library and to move along, that doesn’t make me paranoid. - By the way, if you happen to be in the Carson city Krogers anytime soon, don’t buy the Skippy’s extra crunchy peanut butter, its about to become outdated so it may taste a little funky.

Just because people that we can’t see are watching every move that we make every time we venture into the outside world that doesn’t make me paranoid. (By the way, the GPS in your cell phones are being monitored to track everywhere you go, and they’re listening to all of your dirty little conversations, so turn that puppy off and learn how to read a map. You know, just to be safe.) they watch us at the traffic lights, at the grocery store, at the library, and at the gas station. And public restrooms are looking mighty suspicious to me right about now. All of the evidence is out there, you just have to know what look for and learn twist it to fit your particular conspiracy theory.. Relax I’m just me being a smart ass here, even though strangely enough; there are people- (Some of whom I am personally acquainted with) that seem to find conspiracies every where they turn. Relax people, the government is going to do whatever they want to anyways whether you know about it or not so why worry yourself to death? ME? Paranoid? Naw.. By the way, has anybody noticed that someone seems to be trying to poison our food supply again with Salmonella? This cantaloupe tastes funny.

Recent Salmonella outbreaks:

Cantaloupe - Salmonella Panama

Alfalfa Sprouts - Salmonella I 4,[5],12:i:-
Shell Eggs - Salmonella Enteritidis
Cheesy Chicken Rice Frozen Entrée - Salmonella Chester
Frozen Mamey Fruit Pulp - Salmonella Typhi (Typhoid Fever)
Restaurant Chain A - Salmonella Hartford and Salmonella Baildon
Frozen Rodents - Salmonella I 4,[5],12:i:-
Alfalfa Sprouts - Salmonella Newport
Red and Black Pepper/Italian-Style Meats - Salmonella Montevideo
Water Frogs - Salmonella Typhimurium

Alfalfa Sprouts - Salmonella Saintpaul
Pistachios - Salmonella (multiple types)
Peanut Butter - Salmonella Typhimurium

Raw Produce - Salmonella Saintpaul
Malt-O-Meal Rice/Wheat Cereals - Salmonella Agona
Cantaloupes - Salmonella Litchfield

Banquet Pot Pies - Salmonella I 4,[5],12:i:-
Dry Pet Food - Salmonella Schwarzengrund
Veggie Booty - Salmonella Wandsworth
Peanut Butter - Salmonella Tennessee

Tomatoes - Salmonella Typhimurium


  1. Actually, Hubby has been wondering about all these "natural" disasters happening around the globe. Hurricane Katrina, tsunamis, earthquakes in Haiti and Japan. He hasn't figured out whose behind it yet, but he went and bought a new roll of thicker tinfoil just in case.

    He said it was because the stuff I buy is too thin and rips too easily. I say...likely story.

  2. Sherry:

    Tell him its the Illuminati, that should get him to scratchin the ol Pumpkin. when all theories fail, EVERYBODY blames the Illuminati.

  3. oh gawd...we all need to be wearing Reynolds Wrap foil helmets! LOL

    You know some people prefer to eat strange crappy outdated rotting stuff...yeah. not me.

  4. oh and that verification word phaing...that's what you try to avoid by eating crappy stuff, eh? hahahaha

  5. It's not all the cantaloupe getting salmonella....Just the shipment for Carson City....


    We need to clear out that whole Carson City / Reno area, to make room for the future expansion northward of Area 51.

  6. Miss B:

    Why what have you heard.. good god woman... WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD??? ARE THE ALIENS COMING?? IS BIG BROTHER FINALLY GONNA GET US??? uhhhhh.. yeah rotting food is icky... certainly not for me.

  7. Miss B:

    I don't believe I have the word verification thing turned on here but I'll double check to make sure.

  8. Skinny:

    I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Area 51? oh no we already live next door to area 51 and 1/2.. its called The Nevada Legislature building

  9. No sooner do I let you in on the govt's little secret, than I get something this morning (slight delicate room spin/ fuzzy and general weird feeling). I assume salmonella or one of its cousins. Fortunately I think it's mild case, going to take it easy today.

    That being said, it's obvious you ARE being monitored, and the boys in black frown upon any whistleblowers spilling the that voices I hear outside my house?.....

    P.S. that word verification thing is going on this morning on your blog and this comment.

  10. Skinny:

    Yeah I got side tracked this morning when I was going to go check, had to do another Virus scan on my comp. (It was clean) I turned off the word verification thing now so it should be good.