Paranoid? Who? ME?

Some people think I’m paranoid. I tend to over examine things at the grocery store, I always run my tap water through a filter before I drink it. Not because I fear contamination but because the tap water here is nasty crap. During the summer I always put on the strongest sunblock I can find before I go on a bike ride to protect me from radiation poisoning. Some people might think I am overly cautious sometimes- but Paranoid? Nuh uh. I mean just because somebody follows me around every time I leave the house, and I hear voices coming from the traffic signals while I’m waiting for the light to change at an intersection, that doesn’t necessarily make me paranoid. Just because I was caught last week in the isle at Krogers reading the labels of everything I put in my cart, and they had to send someone to tell me that this wasn’t the library and to move along, that doesn’t make me paranoid. - By the way, if you happen to be in the Carson city Krogers anytime soon, don’t buy the Skippy’s extra crunchy peanut butter, its about to become outdated so it may taste a little funky.



Just because people that we can’t see are watching every move that we make every time we venture into the outside world that doesn’t make me paranoid. (By the way, the GPS in your cell phones are being monitored to track everywhere you go, and they’re listening to all of your dirty little conversations, so turn that puppy off and learn how to read a map. You know, just to be safe.) they watch us at the traffic lights, at the grocery store, at the library, and at the gas station. And public restrooms are looking mighty suspicious to me right about now. All of the evidence is out there, you just have to know what look for and learn twist it to fit your particular conspiracy theory.. Relax I’m just me being a smart ass here, even though strangely enough; there are people- (Some of whom I am personally acquainted with) that seem to find conspiracies every where they turn. Relax people, the government is going to do whatever they want to anyways whether you know about it or not so why worry yourself to death? ME? Paranoid? Naw.. By the way, has anybody noticed that someone seems to be trying to poison our food supply again with Salmonella? This cantaloupe tastes funny.


Recent Salmonella outbreaks:

2011
Cantaloupe - Salmonella Panama

2010
Alfalfa Sprouts - Salmonella I 4,[5],12:i:-
Shell Eggs - Salmonella Enteritidis
Cheesy Chicken Rice Frozen Entrée - Salmonella Chester
Frozen Mamey Fruit Pulp - Salmonella Typhi (Typhoid Fever)
Restaurant Chain A - Salmonella Hartford and Salmonella Baildon
Frozen Rodents - Salmonella I 4,[5],12:i:-
Alfalfa Sprouts - Salmonella Newport
Red and Black Pepper/Italian-Style Meats - Salmonella Montevideo
Water Frogs - Salmonella Typhimurium

2009
Alfalfa Sprouts - Salmonella Saintpaul
Pistachios - Salmonella (multiple types)
Peanut Butter - Salmonella Typhimurium


2008
Raw Produce - Salmonella Saintpaul
Malt-O-Meal Rice/Wheat Cereals - Salmonella Agona
Cantaloupes - Salmonella Litchfield

2007
Banquet Pot Pies - Salmonella I 4,[5],12:i:-
Dry Pet Food - Salmonella Schwarzengrund
Veggie Booty - Salmonella Wandsworth
Peanut Butter - Salmonella Tennessee

2006
Tomatoes - Salmonella Typhimurium