Why do people talk to themselves? Well I can’t speak for anyone else; but I know why I do it. It’s usually a phenomenon that occurs right after I catch myself doing something stupid, dumb or embarrassing. Or truth be told, a combination of all three.
“Why did you do that? That was really dumb. People are staring at you now. Are you happy now you big dummy?”
And sure enough I’ll stop to look around and there are at least two or three people staring at me like I have something really slimy and disgusting trying to claw its way out of my forehead. I don’t, but I can just tell, they think I’m a loon.
Sometimes it isn’t as simple as doing something silly or embarrassing in public; sometimes I catch myself having an entire conversation with myself.
“Soooo, what are you making for dinner tonight?”
“Well Self- I thought that perhaps I would try the lemon pepper chicken recipe that I found on the internet last night, maybe some mac and cheese with brussel sprouts or broccoli on the side.”
“Really dude? Brussel sprouts? Broccoli? You know roughage makes you gassy. And chicken? Again? What’s that? Twice this week you had chicken already?”
The truth is whether or not they admit it, there are a lot of people that talk to themselves. For different reasons of course, reasons that may sound rational to you, but when someone catches you doing it, you just come off as a crazy person. You have to try to rationalize it, justify it somehow, some way, so somebody watching doesn’t call in the guys with the butterfly nets. There’s always the ol, “Oh don’t mind me, I was just thinking out loud.”
The best response is don’t even try to explain away, no answer you give is going to make you sound sane. They always react the same way.
“Sure, sure, well I’ll just leave you two alone now to work this out.”
“No really- don’t look at me like that, I’m not crazy.”
“Uh huh.. Suuuurrrre.”
“I just have some unresolved issues, stemming from a traumatized childhood.”
Oh thanks for sharing that, that explains soooo much.”
It’s hell living inside my head sometimes.