Saturday, June 9, 2012

This old force just ain't what it used to be

I crashed a little later than usual, somewhere around 12:00 AM I think, not having to work today really helped in the decision to stay up. I slept well for the most part, and when I woke up this morning that’s when I noticed that something wasn’t right. I got up and went to the computer desk and sunk down in my tired old chair and just let my eyes become focused in the dim morning light- but somehow or another, I forgot to locate the TV remote before I became comfortable. It was sitting on the stand about 7 feet away, just a bit out of reach.

So I closed my eyes tightly, I concentrated on the TV remote, I pictured it rising into the air and floating into my hand, I focused all of my energy, all of my love, all of my hate, I almost gave myself a headache I was concentrating so much. I waved my hand back and forth several times- but when I re-opened my eyes to see the remote, the prick was just sitting there, silently mocking my Jedi mind powers. Prick. After all failed attempts- I turned my attention to the kitchen. I pictured in my mind- used coffee grounds gently floating through the air, the trash receptacle opened and the grounds went in and fell harmlessly to the bottom.

I turned my attention to the cupboard, I saw the door open, the fresh coffee filter floated through the air- followed by three scoops of fresh grounds. The water turned on, the pot itself precariously perched underneath the spout to eagerly accept the cool delicious bounty from the faucet. And upon reception, it floated back to the coffee maker and poured it in before returning to its original position. I saw the light come on, ahhh I was moments away from sweet, dark, delicious coffee. I slowly sat back in my chair anxiously awaiting the sweet aroma to begin licking at my nostrils. What? Nothing? Hmmmm. Anytime now- sweet delicious aroma. You may begin licking at my nostrils at will. Moments passed before I began to suspect that something may be amiss here.

Slowly I pulled myself from the chair and stumbled into the kitchen, and there it sat, unmoved, unchanged, still unplugged from the night before- the coffee maker was still sleeping. I opened the lid and the coffee grounds were still there from the last time. Cursing to myself, ever so softly- as to not awaken my neighbors so early in the morning, I decided to take it upon myself to make my own damn coffee. Which I did, I decided to carry myself back to the chair- which I did. I sat down, realized that I still didn’t have the remote, got back up, walked over to the stand, retrieved the remote, walked back to the chair, sat back down and turned on the television. I made my own coffee, had to get up and get the remote, and it seems very likely that I will have to make my own damn breakfast too. Unless I go out to get a breakfast burrito at Carl’s Jr. or something. Screw it, I'm done for the rest of the morning. Sometimes the force just ain’t what it’s cracked up to be.


  1. I'm thinking about investing in one of those Keurig coffee makers. There's something about the one freshly brewed cup at a time idea that is really appealing to me. The cost is what is stopping me. Not just the maker, but the K cups can be quite expensive.

    And yep, the force just ain't what it used to was for sure.

  2. Scratch:

    Sounds like you need to program the coffeemaker to have your coffee ready for you when you wake up.

  3. Scratchy,
    Here is the deal, if the force ever strengthens for me I will share the secret, and you for me. Deal? Or perhaps we must take the journey to find Yoda? hmmm

  4. the force? is telling me I should apply for disability! LOL...and take my ass to bed! its nice to see everybody back posting a little!

  5. Grandpa had "the force" - he called her 'Grandma.'


  6. Scratch:

    Sounds like you need to get yourself a wife. :^)

  7. I've been trying to get the force to clean my house. I guess I should just be grateful that he made coffee before he left this morning. (sigh)