Tuesday, October 7, 2014

The boy ain't right. (What people really say and think about you when you aren't around)

The boy ain’t right I tell ya’s! I mean in the head, but to be perfectly clear he ain’t right in any of the other ways either. There’s something just not right with him, Allow me to explain, You ask him a simple question and he goes into some crazy long winded rant that has absolutely nothing to do with what you’ve asked him.. He stands and just stares off into space, for what? seconds? minutes? hours on end?  For what? just to see if he can make you stop and look up into the sky to see if you can see what he’s fucking staring at..  And when you see him standing there, you stop and look up, and what does he do? he sneeks off while you’re not paying attention, leaving YOU standing there looking like a loon, staring up at the sky-  AT NOTHING!!  And you know he has selective hearing, Right? You tell him to do one thing, and he does the opposite, you tell him to go left- he goes right, you tell him to look up- he looks down.  And argumentative?  You bet he is! it is said that the boy could start an argument in an empty elevator!

He’s pig headed,
Foul mouthed,
Aloof to the point of rudeness,
and he dresses funny.

There are a lot of people, and I do mean A LOT of people, who have running theories as to why he is the way he is, I mean HOW does a person get that screwed up?  you see- I have my own theory. You see I think that there was this little purple alien who visited planet earth back in the 1950’s from a galaxy far, far away, from the planet Whatzittoya, and he landed here and got to looking out the window of his flying saucer at all of the pretty scenery, and he decides to get out of his saucer to stretch his legs a bit. So there in the middle of the woods, he see’s one of the local natives out for a stroll who happens to be a female. So he’s thinking about his little purple wife and kids back at the ol homestead on Whatzittoya, and he decides that they'll never know, So he decides that he’s going have a fling with Mrs. Strangelove, who ends up impregnated with the little purple monsters  demon child, He skips town back to Whatzittoya to avoid the bad press, nine months later she gives birth to the bane of humanity, who grows up to fulfill his one true purpose in life, to be a huge Pain in EVERYONE'S ASS!!

Hmmmmm, quite the analytical little diatribe don’t ya think? well it does make you wonder what people REALLY think and say about you when you’re not around.. So dear reader or readers (Assuming that anyone is still reading this insanity) changing the HE, to a SHE or an IT, Do you think that anyone has ever said or thought or wondered about any part of the above text about you?  Yeah.. Me neither. Its been a really long day and I need a beer.

1 comment:

  1. yep, I need some sleep! :) Shit I hope I don't dream of purple alien assholes...thanks for that! btw I live with a little angry demon from the planet, Schizoville. :)