A loud crashing noise,
Awoke me from sleeping,
For upon my rooftop.
I heard footsteps a creeping.
A ball bat I grabbed,
And down the hallway I stumbled,
And in that dark empty hallway,
With the light switch I fumbled.
From the chimney’s belly,
I heard a low muffled yell,
And when the soot cloud billowed,
I knew the fat bastard fell.
So off I did go,
To call 9-1-1,
For being Christmas Eve,
This shit was no fun.
So the policemen all came,
And took him to jail,
But it was Christmas eve,
So he couldn’t post bail.
I hear he called the north pole,
With a tall tale to tell,
And he was sprung from the joint,
By a shit load of Elves.
And in a sleigh full of toys,
Into the dark night he fled,
And I heard the jingle bells ringing,
As I was returning to bed.
And when my house he flew by,
He dropped his pants like a loon,
T'was a cold Christmas eve,
With a full Santa Moon.
~Scratch.. A.B.T. Copyright© 2007.
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