Sunday, August 19, 2012
I'm a PC and I'm obsolete
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Some people just don't want to work.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
The Donut Apocalypse.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
I could win Gold!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
This old force just ain't what it used to be
I crashed a little later than usual, somewhere around 12:00 AM I think, not having to work today really helped in the decision to stay up. I slept well for the most part, and when I woke up this morning that’s when I noticed that something wasn’t right. I got up and went to the computer desk and sunk down in my tired old chair and just let my eyes become focused in the dim morning light- but somehow or another, I forgot to locate the TV remote before I became comfortable. It was sitting on the stand about 7 feet away, just a bit out of reach.
So I closed my eyes tightly, I concentrated on the TV remote, I pictured it rising into the air and floating into my hand, I focused all of my energy, all of my love, all of my hate, I almost gave myself a headache I was concentrating so much. I waved my hand back and forth several times- but when I re-opened my eyes to see the remote, the prick was just sitting there, silently mocking my Jedi mind powers. Prick. After all failed attempts- I turned my attention to the kitchen. I pictured in my mind- used coffee grounds gently floating through the air, the trash receptacle opened and the grounds went in and fell harmlessly to the bottom.
I turned my attention to the cupboard, I saw the door open, the fresh coffee filter floated through the air- followed by three scoops of fresh grounds. The water turned on, the pot itself precariously perched underneath the spout to eagerly accept the cool delicious bounty from the faucet. And upon reception, it floated back to the coffee maker and poured it in before returning to its original position. I saw the light come on, ahhh I was moments away from sweet, dark, delicious coffee. I slowly sat back in my chair anxiously awaiting the sweet aroma to begin licking at my nostrils. What? Nothing? Hmmmm. Anytime now- sweet delicious aroma. You may begin licking at my nostrils at will. Moments passed before I began to suspect that something may be amiss here.
Slowly I pulled myself from the chair and stumbled into the kitchen, and there it sat, unmoved, unchanged, still unplugged from the night before- the coffee maker was still sleeping. I opened the lid and the coffee grounds were still there from the last time. Cursing to myself, ever so softly- as to not awaken my neighbors so early in the morning, I decided to take it upon myself to make my own damn coffee. Which I did, I decided to carry myself back to the chair- which I did. I sat down, realized that I still didn’t have the remote, got back up, walked over to the stand, retrieved the remote, walked back to the chair, sat back down and turned on the television. I made my own coffee, had to get up and get the remote, and it seems very likely that I will have to make my own damn breakfast too. Unless I go out to get a breakfast burrito at Carl’s Jr. or something. Screw it, I'm done for the rest of the morning. Sometimes the force just ain’t what it’s cracked up to be.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Why do people talk to themselves?
Why do people talk to themselves? Well I can’t speak for anyone else; but I know why I do it. It’s usually a phenomenon that occurs right after I catch myself doing something stupid, dumb or embarrassing. Or truth be told, a combination of all three.
“Why did you do that? That was really dumb. People are staring at you now. Are you happy now you big dummy?”
And sure enough I’ll stop to look around and there are at least two or three people staring at me like I have something really slimy and disgusting trying to claw its way out of my forehead. I don’t, but I can just tell, they think I’m a loon.
Sometimes it isn’t as simple as doing something silly or embarrassing in public; sometimes I catch myself having an entire conversation with myself.
“Soooo, what are you making for dinner tonight?”
“Well Self- I thought that perhaps I would try the lemon pepper chicken recipe that I found on the internet last night, maybe some mac and cheese with brussel sprouts or broccoli on the side.”
“Really dude? Brussel sprouts? Broccoli? You know roughage makes you gassy. And chicken? Again? What’s that? Twice this week you had chicken already?”
The truth is whether or not they admit it, there are a lot of people that talk to themselves. For different reasons of course, reasons that may sound rational to you, but when someone catches you doing it, you just come off as a crazy person. You have to try to rationalize it, justify it somehow, some way, so somebody watching doesn’t call in the guys with the butterfly nets. There’s always the ol, “Oh don’t mind me, I was just thinking out loud.”
The best response is don’t even try to explain away, no answer you give is going to make you sound sane. They always react the same way.
“Sure, sure, well I’ll just leave you two alone now to work this out.”
“No really- don’t look at me like that, I’m not crazy.”
“Uh huh.. Suuuurrrre.”
“I just have some unresolved issues, stemming from a traumatized childhood.”
Oh thanks for sharing that, that explains soooo much.”
It’s hell living inside my head sometimes.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Which way to Black Rock City?
Every year at the end of August and beginning of September; some 50,000 plus people congregate in the Black Rock Desert some 10 miles outside of the small town of Gerlach Nevada, to participate in one of the most unique events held in the entire world, known as the Burning Man. Explaining what it is exactly isn’t an easy task even for someone that has attended the event, every year at the same time and same place, a town called Black Rock city sprouts up in the middle of the northern Nevada desert and plays host to an eclectic and sometimes eccentric blend of personalities from all over the world. Burning man is often described as an annual experiment in art, self-expression and community where the normal constraints of community are almost nonexistent. Its anything goes, so long as it doesn’t threaten the safety, health and well-being of the community. Its fun, its artsy, its… Burning man.
Friday, May 25, 2012
The Bitch is Back.
The Bitch is back. That’s right friends you heard me correctly, somebody actually found the rock that Casey Anthony has been hiding under, and as it turns out she never left the state of Florida. Investigators had been staking out her current residence for several days waiting for the opportunity to serve a subpoena relating to an ongoing defamation case involving a woman named Zanaida Gonzalez. A woman that Casey Anthony had never actually met; but claimed that had kidnapped her 2 year old daughter Caylee. As it turned out, the woman that she never met not only turned out to be quite real, but Gonzalez also filed a lawsuit against Casey Anthony claiming that she had publicly damaged her reputation and credibility by publicly associating her with the disappearance and ultimately the death of her daughter Caylee when the two women didn’t even know each other. And now 26 year old Casey Anthony will be heading back to Orlando a lot sooner than she had hoped, back in court, the defamation trial will begin the first week in January.
Where is Sierra Lamar?
Since it was first reported that her family had actually reported her missing on March 16th of this year, I just had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. You just know from following the story on the local news; this simply cannot end well. And even though she is still officially considered missing until a body turns up, The Santa Clara County Sheriff’s department has stated that DNA and other evidence is leading them to believe that 15 year old Sierra Lamar is dead, and they are confident that they have her murderer in custody. Although 21 year old Morgan Hill Ca resident Antolin Garcia Torres has been officially charged with kidnapping and murder, the question still remains, where is Sierra’s body? While Santa Clara County officials remain convinced that the missing 15 year old girl will not be found alive, There are still those within the Morgan Hill Community that are equally convinced that the lack of solid evidence suggests otherwise. Meanwhile the rest of us are left with heavy hearts to wonder where is Sierra Lamar? And when will her family finally have some closure?
Sunday, May 13, 2012
New Computer, New OS
It finally happened, this morning at around 11:52 AM; after 8 years of faithful service, my old Gateway computer finally rode off into the sunset. I thought that it might take me awhile to get used to another computer and another operating System- in this case, Windows 7, but as I’m learning, such is not the case. They couldn’t- in fact, have made the transition that I so feared- any easier. While I am still quite sad to have lost my old computer, the new one leaves me with a sense of relief, it appears that the operating system won’t be all that difficult to learn than was Windows XP. I still; have more to figure out with the new desktop but so far it’s looking good.