This just in, apparently I have somehow become
way cooler than I look.. Honestly- I had
no idea. I mean, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, my pants fit,
my shirts aren’t too loose or too tight, I listen to music that many would
consider to be outdated. I have no
swagger, no hitch to my step and I don’t walk like there is something
disgusting dribbling down my pants leg. but the most telling sign of all? I am
a 54 year old caucasian male that usually tries to mind his own business. And
yet- in spite of all of the obvious clues I still have these strange
individuals who like to come up to me on the street and attempt some bizarre
kind of Gangster/Rapper/thug life communication with me..
Him/it: “Yo Yo Yoooo.. Suuuuuup?”
Me: “Beg pardon?”
Him/it: “Suuuup?”
Me: “I’m sorry I don’t speak Klingon.”
Him/it: “Say what?”
Me: “Oh good.. delightful- so you do at least in
part UNDERSTAND some form of English
then?”
Him/it: “Ummmmmm.. Yeah?”
Me: “Do you know that your pant’s are falling
down?”
He/it looks down but doesn’t offer any verbal
response.
Me: “Yeah dude, you might want to pull those
puppies up.. there are girls around here and your undies are showing.”
He looks up at me and blinks repeatedly but still
offer’s no verbal response.
Me: “Dude seriously pull your britches up before
they become a trip hazzard..”
He rolls his eyes at me and skips away. forgive
me, I’m not cool, I’m a 54 year old white guy whose mother taught him how to
dress properly, and to behave like an adult when ever in public. And in other news- in Moultrie, GA the city leaders have banned sagging
britches in the city limits, first time offenders will pay a $25 dollar fine
along with possible community service. repeat offenders can receive as much as a $400 fine. So at least when in Georgia? better pull them britches up son, nobody
wants to see your dirty under wear. Apparently there are a lot of uncool people
living in the city of Moultrie GA as well.
